About that..., Humour, Mental, Sayings, Snark

Just saying…

There’s a cloud in every silver lining. — Snark


Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience


Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car


We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police


The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on the list


Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad!


Politicians and diapers have one thing in common; they should be changed regularly, and for the same reason


My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re crazy


You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket… I’d miss you heaps and think of you often


To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target


Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen


Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity


Laugh at your problems, everybody else does


The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!


A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.


The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble


The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room


I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it… so I said “Implants?“


A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it


If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments


If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea… does that mean that one enjoys it?


Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t


If God is watching us …the least we can do is be entertaining


A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing


A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer


If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!


Whoever coined the phrase “Quiet as a mouse” has never stepped on one!


 

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