Humour, Mental

Bull!

Traditional Capitalism

You have two cows.

  • You sell one and buy a bull.
  • Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
  • You sell them and retire on the income.

American Capitalism

You have two cows.

  • You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
  • execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
  • The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
  • The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
  • You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release; the public buys your bull.

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