You’re kicking around in cyberspace and come across this link to get a free website. The place you are on doesn’t seem seedy or tacky so – whilst in the background there’s a murmer of “it’s too good to be true init?” – you click on the link just to have a look (and know you’re safe because your browser’s got web protection, right? ).
The page quickly loads and you read:
Yes you so lucky! We have FREE websites for everyone, but there’s a limit of just 3 per customer as they’re going quick and we’ve got limited space. All you need do is:
» Sign up with just your email address; and
» Be one of the first 900 customers to respond to this is a limited, time-sensitive offer
You must act now to get this FILLER CUZI CAN’T CODE [ GIVE ME MY FREE SITE ]
As it sounds quite reasonable, you go right ahead and click [ GIVE ME MY FREE SITE ]
Yeah, about that….
- If you read all through that and couldn’t wait to go clickety-click, unplug your modem right now and go right out and get some threapy
- If you read all through that and just felt something might be a bit off, read it again
- If you read that, felt it looked odd and googled some of the text to check if it was legit, great!
- If you read all through that and spotted at least ten (yes, 10!) out of at least 18 oddities then you’re either a professional editor or just have some plain, old common sense (yay!)
Read on (spoiler alert!)
- Yes you so lucky!
- Well, it looks like the copy was’t proofed and that bad grammar got right past the editor!
- We have FREE websites for everyone, but there’s…
- Over-use of trashy font formats often indicates trashy intentions!
- We have FREE websites for everyone, but there’s a limit of just 3 per customer
- Doesn’t that sound a bit contradictory?
- …there’s a limit of just
- 1st ‘limit’ mention
- as they’re going quick and we’ve got limited space.
- Emotional blackmail #1
- we’ve got limited space.
- Emotional blackmail #2
- we’ve got limited space.
- They’re providing free websites – that will likely take up less than half a megabyte (a terabyte hard drive costs $60 or 25c a month cloud rental), so each site would cost less than $3 to store – a very small loss leader against sales generated due to the traffic across thier site)
- got limited space
- 2nd ‘limit’ mention (yeah, noted that ealier!)
- All you need do is:
- I hate it when someone says that. Sheesh, how condescending!
- » Sign up with just your email address; and
- OK, one does espect that nowadays, but still…
- » Be one of the first
- Yuk, the underscore crosses font formats, it just, well, Ugh! But moving on…
- » Be one of the first 900 customers
- Emotional blackmail #3
- » …to this is a limited, time-sensitive offer
- … “to this” … and …”is a” … just don’t hand together. Just what sort of English does the writer speak?
- …is a limited, time-sensitive offer
- 3rd ‘limit’ mention (sheesh, you think I didn’t get that already?)
- »… limited, time-sensitive offer
- Emotional blackmail #4 (double-whammy)
- so it’s not really a gift then?
- You must act now to
- I must, huh?
- … act now to get this
- Emotional blackmail #5